How Do I Get A Reservation At Rolfs In NYC

Conquering Rolf's: A Field Guide to Securing a Table at NYC's Most Ornamental Nightmare (and Christmas Wonderland)

Ah, Rolf's. The legendary German restaurant in New York City that's equal parts kitsch, class act, and bafflingly obsessed with Christmas. Getting a table at this chaotic gem can feel like winning the Willy Wonka chocolate factory tour, except with less chocolate and more oompah music. But fear not, intrepid diner! This guide will equip you with the knowledge (and maybe a touch of desperation) to snag that coveted reservation.

Step 1: Embrace the Phone. No Apps Here, Folks!

Forget fancy online reservation systems. Rolf's operates on a delightfully old-school principle: the telephone. Yes, that dusty device by your bedside table. Pick it up, channel your inner Don Draper, and dial one of these two numbers (pray they haven't been disconnected for a fax machine):

• 212-477-4750
• 212-473-8718

Be warned: These lines get hotter than Santa's workshop during a heatwave. Be prepared for some serious dial-a-thon action.

Pro Tip: Calling right when they open (11:30 AM) might be your best bet. Just be kind to the poor soul on the other end – they're fielding calls from folks who'd sell their firstborn for a plate of Rolf's (questionable) sausages.

Step 2: Master the Art of Flexibility (or Desperation)

Unless you're planning months in advance, getting a reservation at your ideal time might be a festive fantasy. Rolf's fills up faster than you can say "schnitzel." But don't despair! Here's where some strategic maneuvering comes in:

• Be open to weekdays: Weekends at Rolf's are a warzone. Weekdays offer a slightly calmer experience (though "calm" is a relative term at Rolf's).
• Lunchtime warrior? Lunch reservations are slightly less competitive than dinner. Plus, you get to experience Rolf's in all its, ahem, glory during daylight hours.
• The bar is an option (but manage your expectations): No reservation needed for the bar area! However, be prepared to fight tooth and nail for a spot amidst the throngs.

Remember: Flexibility is key. If you can bend your schedule a bit, your chances of snagging a table increase dramatically.

Step 3: Prepare for the Most Festive Meal of Your Life (or Least)

Congratulations! You've secured a table. Now, for the main event. Here's what to expect:

• Dazzling (or overwhelming) decorations: Depending on your taste, Rolf's decor will either leave you speechless or slightly nauseated. Think Christmas ornaments that have multiplied like gremlins after midnight.
• A menu that's, well, a menu: The food is... German. It's not exactly Michelin-starred, but that's not why you're here, right? You're here for the experience!
• Sing along to carols (mandatory): You will be serenaded by both staff and fellow diners throughout your meal. Embrace your inner elf and belt out those carols!

Bonus Tip: Wear your most festive attire. It's the Rolf's way.

So there you have it! With a little planning, perseverance, and maybe a touch of holiday cheer, you too can experience the delightful chaos that is Rolf's. Just remember, it's not about the food (although the schnitzel is surprisingly decent). It's about the memories, the questionable decorations, and the feeling of triumph for having conquered one of New York City's most bizarre culinary adventures.

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