Enquirer: Kate Middleton wants to scandalize Britain with a commoners kiss

Publish date: 2024-06-14

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Ever since I saw Four Weddings and a Funeral, I honestly thought that ALL British weddings did not have any kissing during the ceremony. Is that true? Or is the kissing ban only in effect for the upper-crust? Or only those marrying in the Church of England? Or is it a personal call every couple gets to make? I have no idea, but you British bitches are welcome to school me.

Anyway, Mike Walker at the Enquirer claims that Kate Middleton is flashing her commoner etiquette and trying to get William to kiss her during their nuptials. Even if some British couples choose to kiss during their weddings, I don’t think it’s EVER happened during a royal wedding. Royal weddings are for memorizing those long-ass royal names. The post-ceremony Palace balcony photo-op is for the kiss. But Kate Middleton is so very common, so she really wants the world to see her makeout with her new husband.

Kate Middleton has dreamed up a romantic wedding day surprise that will thrill the world but absolutely scandalize Prince William’s stuffy Granny (The Queen), who has expressly forbidden his swoony bride’s daring plan to plant a kiss on her gallant groom’s lips right after the “I do”.

Kate went into meltdown when Will initially nixed breaking royal tradition that does not permit a common kiss at the altar, says My London Spy, then pleaded her case with a top Westminster Abbey adviser, but was told: “Impossible! It’s just not done. This is the Church of England! The Queen will NEVER allow it! If you must, you can kiss the Prince later… on a Palace balcony.”

Teary-eyed Kate wailed to Princey-poo: “I’ve always dreamed of getting kissed at my wedding. I’ve waited years for this big day! It’s not fair. Do something!”

So off Wills trudged to Granny – who quickly went all Queen Bee on his butt: “A kiss? That is not how it’s done! We are not like everyone else.”

Frustrated, feisty Kate’s still trying to persuade the Prince to buck bloody protocol, pucker up and plant a post- “I do” smooch smack on her kisser!

Kate told a confidante: “What can they do? Annul the marriage? I don’t think so. And the people will love it.”

[From Mike Walker’s column, The National Enquirer, print edition]

Yeah, this didn’t happen. Kate is not forcing any issue with William, ever. She’s like a geisha. Compliant, not aggressive, not pushy. I could see her bringing the idea up – “What if we broke from tradition and had a little peck?” – but if she was told “no” by William and the Queen, Kate wouldn’t push it. But it would be nice to see them kiss during the ceremony. I’m not a gushy, frilly, wedding-y person, but I like the “You may now kiss the bride” line. I like the idea that a two people’s first act as a married couple is to embrace and seal their vows with a kiss. *wipes bitchy, sentimental tear away*

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Photos courtesy of WENN.

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