Busy Philipps and her ex use nesting custodial time, take turns at the same house
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Busy Philipps and her ex, Marc Silverstein, divorced last year after being separated for some time. They’re co-parenting their two girls, Birdie, 14 and Cricket, nine. In speaking with Yahoo Life’s So Mini Ways parenting series, Busy said she and Marc are using the ‘nesting’ strategy, where the girls stay put and Marc and Busy come and go. And while their living arrangements are consistent, Busy said their rules can vary. But, she said, she thinks that’s true of any parent, because it’s just too hard to monitor.
Philipps and her ex-husband Marc Silverstein use a “nesting” strategy when it comes to parenting, meaning her kids don’t move households but she and Silverstein do, taking turns coming to their family home and returning to separate residences. Still, Philipps knows there’s no way to have a standard set of house rules for her kids that remains no matter which parent is in charge.
“I don’t think you can,” she explains. “Married, divorced — I have no idea if that has ever worked for anyone, ever. Kids are so great at knowing which parent to go to when they want to have candy, and which parent to go to when they need help with their math homework. We try to have consistency, but with the understanding that hey, maybe Marc has had a hard work day, and he’s exhausted, so he lets them have more screen time — it is what it is. It’s a part of being adaptable in parenting as you are in life.”
As far as nesting (I didn’t realize that’s what it’s called) has anyone done this? I see the logic in it for the kids. Do the parents share a single residence for their night without the kids? Otherwise that would mean the family would need three residences. That sounds like the couple would need some extra income for this option. In theory, I think I’d like a space that was all mine. But that also means maintaining two homes: mine and the one with the kids. And I have another question, in the stable residence, where the kids are – do the parents share the same room or do they have their own room in the house, like the kids would if they were traveling between their parent’s houses. I’m so curious now. I’d assume, though, that kids’ lives are easier to make mobile that parents. But that could be my ignorance. I guess the best post-divorce living solution is whatever works for each family.
As for the difference in parenting rules, I see what Busy is saying. It’s true, two people are always going to do things a little differently. It’s important not to contradict the major family rules, but a little extra screen time or whatever does happen on occasion. Busy’s been vocal about Marc not pulling his weight with the kids, if his biggest infraction is giving too much screen time now, I’m sure she’s counting that as a win.
Photo credit: Cover Images and Getty Images
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